Stop tuning!

Summer time is approaching. We enjoy splendid moments in the gardens, the parks… we go for little wanders. We go away for the weekend with our loved ones…and it’s at that moment the problems begin. To read more, click the bottom link  😉

To get away for the weekend, you need a car. Of course, if you have a child, you can say goodbye to sporty well kitted out race cars with their gleaming paintwork and say hello to the good old-fashioned people carrier.

Goodbye Peugeot 206 cc Roland Garros, goodbye BMW Z3, goodbye MX5, and you can forget convertibles! From now on, you go about your days driving a Peugeot, a Renault Break or better yet, a Citroën Picasso. Careful, i’m not talking about the latest shiny and upgraded model. No, i’m talking about the car that resembles a giant egg on four wheels. Welcome to parenthood!

Once you have the car that corresponds to your current-status – as parents in your mid-thirties, you succumb to the famous car seat – that our darling children hate! The security belt digs into their skin and wraps around them like a string on roast beef. It holds them down. It smothers them. In short, the car seat is the Rolls Royce of chairs.

As it is starting to get nice out, we insist that our children wear sunglasses, but they never keep them on because they prefer to put them on their heads…it’s more practical that way didn’t you know? This leaves you with only one solution, you need to by sun shades!

You walk, full of joy into the car shop to get your hands on one of these beauties, that will protect your little cherubs from said sunshine. You navigate in between the different aisles. Air filters, Oils filters, window-wipers and the tree air-fresheners, that we go crazy for. We ask ourselves why! Their odour is so strong that as soon as we get into our car, we dream of only one thing: to get sinusitis! We’re all a bit soft in the head.

You eventually find the aisle that you’ve been looking for, stuck between the aluminium rims and the oil drums. The arrangement can leave us a little perplexed, because the relationship between these three items is rather strange! Welcome to the curiosity shop! At your displeasure, you find yourself faced with horrors! Yes, I use the word, horror! Between speaking cars (Disney Cars), a cat that has a head disproportioned to its body (Hello Kitty) or again, Frozen! The choice can be difficult. “Let it gooooo” … and run (thank me later, when you’ve had this song stuck in your head all day! ?)

After deciding not to buy any of the above, you go to find a sales assistant. “Excuse me, sir, i’m looking for a black sun shade… you know, something plain and simple!” The sales assistant looks at you perplexed and says that they’re at the back of the shop. “You’ll see, we have lots of nice ones in! Your kids will adore them!” You inhale. “You’re sure? You don’t have any other ones?” The sales assistant shakes his head. You say to yourself that this shop is well equipped, in terms of sun shades. While looking at him straight in the eyes, you tell him that you’ve had enough of your car looking like a giant egg, and that the one thing we see at the back is the magnificent “child on board” sign (that grandad stuck on the window, in case no one realised that you had a child in the car, despite the jumpers, the crumbs or crusty bread all over the seats and floor). In short, you simply dream of being able to stop adapting your car to parenthood.

Published by Audrey Lucido, june 21st 2017. Translate by Helen Ben Othman.

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